It was the perfect day to do the hardest hike in the Columbia River Gorge. I woke up on Saturday at 6 a.m. per usual and texted my teammate: I’m awake.
As I showered, I thought about how this hike had lagged at the bottom of my hiking bucket list for years, easily avoidable with the excuse: I won’t be able to do it until I’m ready to climb Mt. Hood. Having trained for the past 20 months, intensively for the past seven weeks, I was now convinced that this hike was going to be harder than the actual climb.
Could I do it? Who knows?
I had never even tried.
Mount Defiance is notorious.
Starting at a mere 130 feet above sea level along Interstate 84 and the Columbia River and going 6.5 miles up to its 4,959-foot summit, Mount Defiance is the highest point normally recognized as being part of the Columbia River Gorge, according to Oregonhikers.org. The Mount Defiance-Starvation Ridge Loop Hike is commonly referred to as the most difficult day hike in our region.
It was time to try.
The sun was already wide awake and the parking lot completely full by 8 a.m. My BCEP 2021 team huddled to do a pre-flight check of the ten essentials (or eleven in my case—ahem, bubbles!). My instructors laughed when I said that I had packed everything we needed for the actual climb—helmet, crampons, harness, ice ax, snow layers—and kindly waited while I quickly put it all back in the trunk of my car. Well, that just got way easier.
It’s only as hard as you make it.
As we made our way basically straight up, one contour index line on the topographic map at a time, I noticed the wildflowers, the tweeting birds, the shades of green leaves, the scent of hot soil, the beams of sun breaking through the trees. And of course, my hamstring and glute muscles.
But there was something missing.
It took me a while to figure it out. There were no thoughts.
My mind was as clear as the sky was blue. No complaints, no measuring time or distance, no bargaining, no distractions. Just paying attention to the trail, my needs and the world around me, and completely enjoying myself every challenging step of the way. All the way up and all the way down. Running the last half-mile to finish in exactly nine hours. Type 1 FUN all the way. It was such a perfect day.
Could I do it? Who knew?
I had never even tried.
Until now.
The farther along I get on this journey called life, the more I sense that whatever anybody else says or does in their life doesn’t matter for me. Only what is true for me.
Just like Mount Defiance, last week as a whole really challenged me to know this and act on it. It seemed like each day brought forth questions that challenged my faith or my intuition, or both. Sure others might provide help or support, but no one else has even been here, now, in this—as me. How could they have the answers?
Their truth is not my truth.
Their experience is not my experience.
In A Hidden Wholeness, Parker Palmer wrote:
“As time goes on, we are subject to powers of deformation, from within as well as without, that twist us into shapes alien to the shape of the soul. But the soul never loses its original form and never stops calling us back to our birthright integrity…we are invited to conform our lives to the shape of our souls.”
A soul unburdened by untested expectations, unnecessary weight, useless thoughts.
Not easy or without challenges, but easeful: Simply, purely being.
What is true for you?
May you have a perfect day this week.
Love,
Jules
I share a lesson learned about integrity every Monday. Sign up for delivery right to your inbox. Want more? There’s lots more lessons learned here on my blog, so have fun exploring and commenting about your own insights!