Last week when Monday felt so “off,” I was stressed about details like cashflow, yes, but more so whether I was off course overall.
I woke up Tuesday and I got out the post-its. And markers. And whiteboard.
I came up with what seemed like an awesome two-week sprint of business projects (like this except for 2 weeks).
That’s my guilty pleasure: planning.
Wait a second, that’s your guilty pleasure?
Maybe planning isn’t “unusual or weird,” but I’m growing more and more convinced that it’s a bit unnatural.
At least in the way, I do it. And the way a lot of people do it.
Here’s what I’ve been noticing:
- Planning gives the illusion of control, even though we know change is the only constant.
- All the doing feels like measurable progress, whether or not its effective.
- It promotes this-or-that comparison, instead of more creative options.
Entering this second week, I felt good about having an action plan. But then, when my body wanted to work on bookkeeping and clearing out my inbox instead of creating the practice guides I started last week, which are actually all about presence, connection and balance. Oh, the irony.
There was so much tension.
Throw out the action plan??
As much as I’ve adapted to this new creative lifestyle, I’m having a hard time releasing modes of measurement, control, schedule, planning. It’s so uncomfortable. And, I’m not just thinking about big project planning, but the day-to-day stuff—the infinite ways we micromanage our lives.
This felt like a lot given I was already coming off of another “vulnerability hangover” as Alison Faulkner described in a recent podcast. Sure, they’re avoidable, but as Alison asked:
“Do you love your comfort more than your goal?”
No, I don’t. I love the goal of living from a place of wholeness into a space of sufficiency and empowering more people to live this way—wholly and soulfully.
This guilty pleasure of planning is overshadowing my natural intuition to notice and adapt to what’s going on right now. But without a plan, how do I know where I’m going and how to get there?
I can use my attention to guide my intentions.
After a gut check, I was pretty sure it was intuition and not procrastination. So, I’m going with it. Bookkeeping doesn’t generate cashflow, but maybe it will realign the energy. I’m trying to see the forest for the trees, though still unsure these are the trees that need tending right now.
Perhaps this is what Tami Lynn Kent is talking about in Wild Creative:
How living from our creative core, our wholeness, our essence, requires balancing the feminine (being, visionary) and masculine (doing, action) energy cycles so that we can really go with the flow, naturally intuiting the next right thing and then doing it.
Or as Phil Powers says about finding rest in every step, not only as I’ve been doing every week during Sabbath:
“Concentrating on how I move through the world is important. It’s why I reach mountain summits and life goals with energy to spare.”
May you follow your gut and enjoy energy to spare this week,
Jules
P.S. Did you know that libraries can order books that they don’t have? So cool! I put in requests recently and am happy to report that my local library, Multnomah County, now has Rhythms of Rest and the recently published Subversive Sabbath: The Surprising Power of Rest in a Nonstop World (hardcopy and Ebook) available. If you’re curious about more resources to learn about Sabbath, I made a handy list here. And, FYI, I’ll be opening registration for the Sabbath Circle running this summer soon. Yay!